Disgusting.

I ate a piece of lasagna, a muffin, five chicken strips and ketchup today.
I want to purge to badly, but people will hear me.

I can't stand this. It's disgusting.
I'm disgusting...

I'm mad at the world, it doesn't owe me anything, I'm just upset at how this is all turning out.
People aren't close to me anymore - I can't stand everyone but two people, and even them I don't want to be around. I'm happiest when I'm alone...I can think and do things for myself.

My Mom was pissing me off last night. She wouldn't dye my hair and I know how trivial that sounds, but she wasn't even paying attention to me...I came home at 5:30 and she didn't ask where I was. She doesn't comment on how short my shorts are, or how much makeup I wear. It seems like she's always got something better to care about, like her garden in the backyard or her almost-boyfriend Peter.
So I was left to fend for myself. She can't pay for anything for me anymore because we were forced to buy a new washer so money's slim right now. I can understand that, but I feel like I'm being forced to be too independent, and that sucks.
I'm sorry that I want a mom who will question me for hanging out with a boy.
I'm sorry that I want a mom who cares about where I am, and cares to ask where I'm going.
I'm sorry that I want to do things just to piss her off and see if she notices.

I'm a mess, and I feel so...heavy and down all the time. And I'm crying again...
I said that I was done with being sad...I don't think I have a choice now.
Everyone I come into contact with is simply annoying me, and I want to run away.