Let's Change Something.

May 5, 2011

A Rant that makes sense:

casual blog ...

I realized something today. Life is so much more then us. 

Every laugh, song, breath, and step is still a gift. And I'm not Catholic - I don't even define my religion. I just realized that life is not about relationships, making out, or seeing how far you've gone. It's about having fun and doing what you think is right.

I figured out when I posted my new facebook profile picture that I really didn't care how many times someone pressed that "like" button, or how many comments I received from people saying how pretty they think I look. I realized its not about that, it's about you yourself loving the picture of you that you have posted.

I got my haircut today, and that doesn't seem like a big deal, but I got it done how I WANTED to get it done, not what anyone else wanted me to do. I realized that this is how I need to act everyday, and how I should make my decisions. Screw everyone else, this is still my life and I can make my decisions. 

That boy, we're going to call him Boy#1. If you don't already understand from my previous posts, he has been in my life for a while, and I have really truly gotten to the point of loving him. And "love" is not a word I use often. I found out a while back that I really and truly had such strong feelings for him that it blew my brain away and seemed like nothing else mattered anymore. It doesn't matter what happened to lead me to this point, only that I was so falling for him that it hurt. 

And I felt - and still feel - like I'm never good enough for him. He is always picking someone else over me, and that hurts me alot, but at the same time I realize that it is what makes him happy and that's really all I want. 

YEAH I KNOW, "wow she's being such a dramaqueen" but , seriously, I've heard girls throw around that statement "i just want him to be happy" so much that I really know when to use it and mean it truly and really. 

I realized today that life is not about him, and it isn't about trying to make him like me at all, and I shouldn't have to need him to get by. I think tonight is a turning point, and I don't want to give up any time soon. I want to push through the rest of this, get done what I want to get done and just move on with my life. 

This is my path, no one else's . let's change it for the better and see what happens .