Let's Move Past It And You Can Forget Me.

May 2, 2011


3- minute rant:


Don't talk. You don't know her story. It's a troubled one, with twists and turns and falls and fails. These things she can not escape. She's never going to win, but dive into this sea of nothingness until she finally emerges with more of herself then she had before. It's happened before, and history tends to repeat itself.

You think you know her, but she isn't you. You can't tell her what she feels everyday, but its more then what you know. She is troubled by her past and her future. She starves, she purges, she cuts. She wants to just leave, but she can't because the ropes of pain and mistrust tie her down and make her feel more then what she needs. She hates where she has gotten to, but she knows that there's only up to go from here.

She explains herself to you, but you'd never know her whole story. She's so much more then she can explain on paper. She feels like nothing can ever be said about her and be truthful.

She hates when people around her make jokes about eating disorders, or when someone overreacts to somenoe else's cutting. She doesn't want that attention on her, so she hides once more. Says she's eating when she's really not.

If you knew her story you'd think differently
If you knew her story you wouldn't look at her the same
If you knew her story you would say she was crazy
If you knew her story you would call it no big deal
If you knew her story you would still never understand
If you knew her story she would get too much attention
If you knew her story ...

she wouldn't like you.

She regrets telling people about herself, because they watch with careful eyes at what she will do next. What is she to do when she is watched? She wants to just crawl back to her starvation, but she does not want to disappoint anyone.

She is lost,
and she forgot to turn on the light.