Just Whatever.

My friend has been through some stuff, yes that's true. But she's being such a dramaqueen about it. She's head of all of these organizations against youth violence and stuff like that, yet she can't find her way out of cutting. Which I totally understand, but she should have found a different way then cutting to begin with. And she's so open about things, you know? Like "hi, I haven't met you before" HER: "oh, well nice to meet you, here's my life story on a silver platter for you to judge"
Like...there should be a level of discresion used with people. Maybe that's just me talking because I'm so used to not having the world know about me or what I do, but you don't go spreading your life story like it's a box of doughnuts (sorry, I'm hungry).
She has had drama with this guy, and it's completely understandable that she would be hurting over him, but it was about three months ago, and she's STILL ON IT. I don't know if that's because of her past or that she just holds onto things, but she can't effin save everyone and she needs to get that through her head!

I should never have told her about ana. She's trying a 24 hour fast starting at ten tonight - it's twelve thirty right now. I don't know what she's going to get from this but a look into my life. I've done 50... she doesn't know I purge and she won't know.

BY THE WAY,
I've started not sleeping...like enough at all! It TANKS. I am not happy about that! You loose calories when you sleep and I just can't!!! I sat in bed for SO LONG last night and got completely nowhere. All I could think about was how hungry I was and how much it hurt. And there were so  many things spinning in my head! Things about Matt, and Ryan and Mason and Karyn and Erin and Brittany. How I've hurt so many of them, how I've drifted apart from so many other people.
And I'm sitting here typing at 12:30 in the morning...yeah another sleepless night? I believe so. I can't sleep...again. >.>

So I don't know what's going to happen next, but whatever it is, I AM GOING TO BE SKINNY BY SCHOOL IN SEPTEMBER.